this is such a spotty rant, im VERY bad at writing, so some stuff has dead ends, some stuff dosnt transition well into other stuff, not many people read these so it dosnt really matter all that much.
ok so bacially. theres this guy i knew named elliot. okay? so basically. my pal wanted to part ways with elliot, because elliot has said some very distateful things to me without apologizing. one thing he did was believe shit my ex told him, then he scolded me irl in his kitchen with my ex just standing there watching it happen. my ex was not helping me at all even though we were together at the time. wow. right??
and for further context, me and my group of online friends would have irl meetups at elliot's house. my ex was there, as well as my pal who wants to part ways with elliot.
in the kitchen, me, my ex, and elliot were all kinda venting a bit, and when i had the talking stick, i talked about how me and my mom can barely pay the rent every month and eviction is a real fear i have to prepare for. elliot told me "well then you should take up commissions." i said "i DO do commissions, i just dont make very much money." he then began getting almost heated about it, saying stuff like "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work harder, you cant make excuses if these are the things on the line" i then told him how my lack of customers isnt my fault in the slightest.
i felt the familiar feeling of barbed wire around my throat, i was on the verge of tears at this point, i wasnt expecting him to be so weirdly angry about it!!
i forgot mostly how it ended, but i turned away and went upstairs wihout really saying anything. i messaged my pal about it and he was pissed that he wasnt there to tear into elliot about what he said to me.
and i mind you, elliot lives in a 2.5mil house, and both his parents are DOCTORS. he can barely muster making an album in a timely manner due to his own mental distress, and did i mention his parents are PAYING to send him to MUSIC SCHOOL?? i dont think he has any say in what i should be doing. hed never be able to take a walk in my shoes.
my ex diddnt help me refute what elliot was saying... because he caused him to be more irritable towards me.
elliot still hasnt apologized, even months after this incident.
the kind of stuff my ex made up were shit like "cal is hanging stuff over my head by threatening my career with the stuff i said sorry for doing back in 2021!"
and the reason me threatening his career over the stuff he did in 2021 would be seen as a low blow to my friends is because hes been seen HATING his past and REGRETTING it all. he swears up and down to his friends that he isnt like that anymore.
the 2021 stuff hes reffering to was his crazy addiction to.. furry content. feral. furry content. and as recent as 8 months ago i caught him looking at similar stuff, so him saying sorry dosnt really matter if hes STILL looking at that kind of thing. i kept telling him to get therapy, and he just WOULDNT.
and for the record, the thing i was ACTUALLY threatening to tell people, was how he SA'd me at our friend meetups. multiple times. just a room away from where everyone else slept.
i got so close at one point to getting him a therapist. i helped him with the whole process. we went on 'psychology today' so he could PICK a therapist with his specific needs. we found the perfect lady. a few days later after he promised to email her, i asked him "hey! did you get a response from her yet?" he said "i never sent the email. im too afraid to. and i dont think i even need a therapist."
i was heartbroken. him not getting a therapist acitvely affected me too. very much so.
he was always afraid to try and get help because he was afraid his parents wouldnt think he needed therapy and would question him about why he needed it. my ex was severely mentally ill, a total shut-in, and never wanted to socialise with people in fear of them finding out his past. i had to deal with the consiquenses of his secrecy.
my ex tried really hard to hide the fact that me and him were dating. we were a thing for 6 years. none of our friends knew.
as of recent, (october 2024) i convinced my ex to let me tell our friends that we were a thing, and everyone was SHOCKED. most of them had absolutely NO idea.
i only wanted to tell people because i needed to soften the blow of me coming out with what he did to me.
here comes the shitshow. i finally let myself tell someone. i told my pal, and he was gobsmacked, heartbroken, and REALLY REALLY fucking pissed.
my ex would apparently vent to my pal all the time about how i am verbally and mentally abusive towards him, and again with the 'hanging stuff over his head' causing his stomach ulcers to get worse.
i cant mention my ex by name because he sent me a cease and desist in the mail for exposing him to the only people who cared about him. hes rich, and i can afford a lawyer, so i chose to bend to his will and took every mention of him by name off the internet. the only remaining public remanents of his name on my channel is the credits in the mdp absolute territory video for doing the lipsync, and the box game 3 (hidden in my nightmare slop playlist.)
i can say these few things because i know he isnt reading this. hes scared of me. his parents are the ones who paid a laywer to send me a cease and desist.
he certainly mustve been crying every night about it. crying to his mother.
in videos like 200, i keep him as just a grey figure. lacking features. i could be sued if the character resembled him in any means.